every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
