Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
