is your mom at the bar?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
