if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
