he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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