I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Ketchup is God's man juice
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
