I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
