I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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