i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
