I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
