I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
