real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize