from now on my penis is your penis
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
