I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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