ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
