The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
