Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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