he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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