sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
