I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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