they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
