Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
