I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
