check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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