I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
