I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
