You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
