so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
worst night to have a conscience
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
