I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
