His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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