I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Panties = found
Randomize
