We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
