apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
