"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize