He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
