Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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