White coat. Heels.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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