I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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