just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
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