he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize