I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I want her autograph on my taint
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
