I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
