So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
