Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i believe in u and ur pee
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