i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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