He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
