He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
