if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
