My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My feet surprised me
Randomize
