he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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