I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
