im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
