you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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