office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
two words...techno handjob
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
