dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize