Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
