Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
