Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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