i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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