3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
