just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
