I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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